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I turned 49 on July 24th. I dreaded this birthday for months. I planned not to celebrate, skipping over the day unnoticed. But my family and friends would not allow it. If anything, this felt like one of my most celebrated birthdays ever. 

I looked deeply at this birthday and why it bothered me so. I accredited it to not feeling good about myself and therefore not feeling good about the current number and the dreaded number coming in 365 short days. And then I looked deeply at myself and why I was not feeling good. I had gained more weight on top of the old weight. All this weight left me feeling tired, frumpy, old, and unsexy. This was not the Evelyn I knew and loved. I wanted the old Evelyn so desperately to come back.

The week before my birthday I received an email from Todd, Dept Head of the Personal Trainers at LifeTime Fitness in Plymouth. The email basically said that they missed me (I hadn't gone but a couple of times in the last year... what a waste of $) and he invited me to a complimentary session to discuss my fitness goals and to come up with a workout plan. I took it as a sign and made an appointment.

I haven't looked back since.

That appointment was on July 17th. The following Monday (and the Monday of my birthday week) I started working out with a Personal Trainer named Madeline. I was filled with angst and dread as Madeline was everything I envied... young, blonde, pretty, and fit. I instantly felt old, drab, ugly, and fat.

But Madeline is more than just young, blonde, pretty and fit. She is encouraging and believes in me. She pushes me and when I feel like I can't do anymore and just want to cry instead, she pushes me some more. And then she tells me how awesome I am. Madeline has made a difference. It's weird, but even though I pay her, I feel like I don't want to let her down, so I keep showing up and I keep doing my "homework."

I have lost 11 pounds and inches. How many inches, I'm not sure as I regrettably forgot to measure when I started. My clothes fit differently and people are starting to notice. My body FEELS different. When I move and when I'm not moving.

And the best thing of all is that I FEEL MOTIVATED.

Recharged.

I missed two weeks of weigh ins at WW. One week was because I had strep throat (ouch!) and the next week I was out of town.

Now, when I had strep I did not follow program. I ate McDonald shakes. I ate tapioca . I drank lots of tea and gallons of water. I ate sherbet. I slept and slept and slept. And then I discovered that I could no longer swallow my own spit, so I went to the doc and he gave me some nice antibiotics. Then I had days of diarrhea.

The next week I went out of town and ate out every meal. Bad things. It felt so good to eat real foods again.

This week I started back on it. I wrote down everything I ate. I drank water. And I started exercising again. Hit the gym and did the treadmill and the elliptical and followed it up with some glorious time in the sauna.

On Wednesday I worried about weigh in. All day. My home scale didn’t look bad, but I was convinced it was lying to me.  I had not followed program for 2 weeks – I had to have gained! I was convinced I had gained the 5 pounds I worked so hard to lose back again. I was tempted to skip this week too.

I went to weigh in. I wore exactly what I wear to each and every weigh in. I peed before going in. I held my breath as I stood on the scale. And my weight was exactly the same as it was the last time I weighed in. I lost nothing and I gained nothing. What a blessing!

I feel motivated again – I love how I feel when I am eating healthy and exercising. I feel thinner, but more importantly I feel more focused and energetic. I feel more alive.

Weekend Fear

I am a rule follower during the week. I write everything down. I make healthy choices. I drink water. But the weekend roles around, and my Mr. Hyde shows his ugly face. I write nothing down. I eat out too much. I snack on foods I don’t even love.

Road Trip

And to make matters worse, I have to drive to Minot, ND this weekend with my BF to pick up half a cow for his parents. Do you know where Minot is? It’s in the furthest, northern corner away from Mn…. it’s a good 10 hour drive. One way. And there is nothing in between here and there to make the journey fun. Nothing. No cute little shops to stop at. No fun restaurants. No outlet malls. I don’t even think there is a Dairy Queen. I will love spending all those hours trapped in the car with Jeff for sure, but I am soooo not looking forward to this drive! Especially after just getting back from spending 24 hours driving from the Gulf Coast!

So my plan is this:

• When we stop to pee or get gas or whatever, no matter how silly I look, I will run 5 laps around the car… minimum.
• I don’t usually have a problem snacking in the car, but I’ll bring something healthy along just in case.
• Water. The problem is, if I drink a lot of it, I’ll have to pee. A lot. Did I mention that there is nothing between here and Minot? That means no rest areas and very few gas stations.
• When we do go out to eat, I will try my darndest to push away temptation and choose something healthy.

Impending Doom

School starts on Tuesday. I should be excited because it’s my last semester, but instead I feel insanely anxious with a feeling of “impending doom” (inside joke – my fellow nursing students will be laughing here!). Seriously though, I instantly get a pit in my stomach. With school comes chaos. I find myself never having time to work out, plan menus, cook dinner, eat healthy. Let’s not even talk about what happens to my house during this time! Yikes! I really don’t want to go down this path anymore… it isn’t healthy physically or emotionally. My friend Sandi recommended a website called e-mealz that will give me my dinner menu for the week based on WW points and on what sale is at my grocery store that week (Thanks Sandi!). It gives me the recipes, the menu, the grocery list, and how much it’s going to cost! So not only will it save me time and calories, it will save me money too! All I need to do is print it out each week and head to the store.

For a great little synopsis on e-mealz, check out this article that was in Southern Living.

Have a great weekend!