Weekend Fear

I am a rule follower during the week. I write everything down. I make healthy choices. I drink water. But the weekend roles around, and my Mr. Hyde shows his ugly face. I write nothing down. I eat out too much. I snack on foods I don’t even love.

Road Trip

And to make matters worse, I have to drive to Minot, ND this weekend with my BF to pick up half a cow for his parents. Do you know where Minot is? It’s in the furthest, northern corner away from Mn…. it’s a good 10 hour drive. One way. And there is nothing in between here and there to make the journey fun. Nothing. No cute little shops to stop at. No fun restaurants. No outlet malls. I don’t even think there is a Dairy Queen. I will love spending all those hours trapped in the car with Jeff for sure, but I am soooo not looking forward to this drive! Especially after just getting back from spending 24 hours driving from the Gulf Coast!

So my plan is this:

• When we stop to pee or get gas or whatever, no matter how silly I look, I will run 5 laps around the car… minimum.
• I don’t usually have a problem snacking in the car, but I’ll bring something healthy along just in case.
• Water. The problem is, if I drink a lot of it, I’ll have to pee. A lot. Did I mention that there is nothing between here and Minot? That means no rest areas and very few gas stations.
• When we do go out to eat, I will try my darndest to push away temptation and choose something healthy.

Impending Doom

School starts on Tuesday. I should be excited because it’s my last semester, but instead I feel insanely anxious with a feeling of “impending doom” (inside joke – my fellow nursing students will be laughing here!). Seriously though, I instantly get a pit in my stomach. With school comes chaos. I find myself never having time to work out, plan menus, cook dinner, eat healthy. Let’s not even talk about what happens to my house during this time! Yikes! I really don’t want to go down this path anymore… it isn’t healthy physically or emotionally. My friend Sandi recommended a website called e-mealz that will give me my dinner menu for the week based on WW points and on what sale is at my grocery store that week (Thanks Sandi!). It gives me the recipes, the menu, the grocery list, and how much it’s going to cost! So not only will it save me time and calories, it will save me money too! All I need to do is print it out each week and head to the store.

For a great little synopsis on e-mealz, check out this article that was in Southern Living.

Have a great weekend!

Day 2 of the liquid diet

So today I moved up to protein shakes. Nothing in them but a cup of milk and the vanilla protein powder. I was suppose to have 5 of them, but I ran out of milk, so my 4th one consisted of half a cup of milk, and half a cup of Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Chai Tea.  And I just skipped the last one out of fear that I was screwing everything up by not following it exactly. I also had half of a bite of banana… it was on the counter, looking sad after I used most of it up for Brandon’s PB, J and B sandwich, and it smelled so good. So after staring at it for like 5 minutes, I had the tiniest bite. After a bit of heaven, I instantly felt guilty thinking again that I screwed it all up and went through all this agony for nothing.

When I went to bed last night, I could not stop thinking about how hungry I was. It was like an obsession. And the hunger actually woke me up a couple of times…. my stomach would let out this huge ROAR, and I’d be awake. It was horrible. But when I woke up this morning, I really didn’t feel that hungry. And the scale was happy to see me with a loss of 4 pounds! Woot!

But before I get tooo excited, we’ll see if the little banana ruins it all for me…

A day filled with pee

I started La Bamba today… it should be renamed La Bathroom! It is a 3-day kick start weight loss program using Herbalife Products. Day 1 consists of 2 gallons of liquid protein and nothing else. They say I should feel a “twinge” of hunger and will pee frequently. Yes to both! So far I feel kinda hungry and really lazy, but yet hyper (if that makes any sense). They claim I will lose 3-10 pounds of fat in the 3 days… I am keeping my fingers crossed! I noticed that with each time I go to the fridge to pull out my gallon jug of peach mango bliss, the bacon sitting nearby says my name a little louder.

The weekend was good, but maybe a little too good. There was badness – I didn’t write anything down and we ate out quite a bit; and there was goodness – no chips, cookies, or pop was brought into the house in preparation for a house full of boys. The scale didn’t look so bad this morning, so I’m hoping I did okay regardless of the badness.

Back to the Beck workbook… haven’t visited it since Jan 7… oops! Today is Day 4 and the focus is on building your confidence. It’s important to have the confidence that you can do what you have to do in order to lose weight. Beck wants me to start giving myself credit for every positive eating behavior I engage in and every helpful eating decision I make.

Today I said hell no to the bacon.

Heavy Peeps feeding Hungry Peeps

I went to my Weight Watcher's meeting last night for the first time since the end of October. I am right back where I started, which really isn't a big deal since I had only lost about 4 pounds. A gain of 4 pounds over the holidays and a vacation is not really a bad thing. It felt sooo good to be back!! It is such a supportive environment and something about weighing in front of someone makes me feel very accountable... almost like I don't want to let that person down.

I was well within my points yesterday, but still haven't managed to exercise or get the full 8 glasses of water in. On the way to town I found inspiration on the side of the road. For the last year, nearly every time I drive to town, rain or shine, I see a man walking briskly. I go to town at various times, so I can only think that he is a very dedicated walker who walks several times a day. Even though it was cold out, he was out there bundled up in a snow suit, hat, mittens etc. Nothing was showing but his nose. I see him so often that I recognized him by his walk! I felt guilty for I have not exercised all week even though I have oodles of exercise DVDs and a gym membership. I don't even have to go out in the cold for gosh sake!

The focus this week for WW is to track everything. I wrote everything down that I ate yesterday, so one gold star for me!

I frequent another blog written by a gal on her journey to weight loss (and doing a fine job, I might add) and she mentioned today a Pound for Pound Challenge where for every pound you pledge to lose, they will donate 14 cents (the cost of one pound of food) to your local food bank. How cool is that?! The Second Harvest Heartland in St. Paul is currently in the lead. Go to this site and pledge how many pound you're going to lose before June 30th. I pledged to lose 25 pounds and that means that 25 pounds of food will be donated to Second Harvest Northland Lakes Food Bank in Duluth! Which, by the way, is in 3rd place in Mn with 91 team members. It's a very cool thing to do... so just do it!

New Year... New Me

I haven't posted to this blog in so long... it's depressing to know that I still have this weight loss burden! When I think about it, I have struggled with this weight for most of my adult life... other than that brief stint about 10 years ago when I ran like crazy and did WW like a fanatic and lost 45 pounds. I'm happy to say, I feel that "fanaticism" in my again! Let's pray that it sticks!

This time I am doing a combination of things... Herbalife, Weight Watchers, and clean eating. I'm basically combining a ton of things I have learned over the years. I am a bundle of nutrition knowledge, too bad I can't figure out how to apply it to my own life!

I started yesterday since I was on vacation until then. I've been having tummy issues ever since I got back which says that all the junk I ate over vacation created havoc inside my body. Poison. I weigh in at WW tonight for the first time since Oct 28... I'm sure I've gained the weight back that I lost, but we will see. Tomorrow I start round 2 of the weight loss challenge at Cold Fusion (Herbalife). I wasted round 1, this one has got to be better!

My first day yesterday was not bad. I only managed 4 out of the 8 cups of water, but I stayed within points and I ate a very healthy soup for dinner... I'll post the recipe on my newly created recipe page... stay tuned for that one. No exercise though, other than cleaning the house.

Oh, and I am also doing the homework from The Beck Diet Solution.